


Day 18: Short Circuit

by RealityBetterThanFiction



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Niall is a menace, Vibrating Butt Plugs, public/semi-public sex, shenanigans ensue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:24:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8191805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealityBetterThanFiction/pseuds/RealityBetterThanFiction
Summary: Louis brings home a surprise from the shops that requires a bit of...multi-tasking...to complete the challenge.





	

From his place in front of the mirror in the ensuite, Harry frustratedly tried to tame his curls. He had been letting Isabelle try to braid his hair when she got home from school, and the effects were a snarled mess of tangles thicker than the underbrush of the Amazon. He was already dressed for the evening, a black sheer button down and his best skinny jeans that required him to lay down on the bed to zip. Paired with the golden boots that he dug out from the back of the closet, he was ready to go out for a night on the town. On a Tuesday night, no less. It felt like uni at Manchester all over again. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he and Louis had gone out on a bloody weeknight. Having kids definitely wasn’t conducive to an active social life. But since starting the challenge, a lot had been changing.

 

Tonight was one of those nights of change. A rare exception. Louis’ eldest sister, Lottie, was in town for a fashion event and had volunteered to babysit. The shriek Isabelle had emitted when they told her Aunt Lots was coming to play was ear shattering. Harry was pretty sure he still had residual hearing loss. It would be an evening full of make-up and princess dresses...with poor George having to suffer along as a practice subject for Isabelle’s tutilige. Who knew what state the house would be in when they returned?

 

It would be worth it, Harry told himself. Because tonight was a night for celebration. Niall had just landed a new promotion at work and wanted to, “blow some of the raise I’m going to get on booze.” Which was hysterical because Niall _never_ paid when they went out. Harry didn’t know how he managed it, but he always was the most inebriated with the least damage to his bank account come the end of the night. That was Niall for you. He had everyone wrapped around his little finger. Harry and Louis were no exception. When Harry had broached the party plans to Louis the other day, he had actually seemed enthusiastic. Unlike the usual Louis that would have protested and used the “too exhausted” excuse to get out of going. Even more evidence of change.

 

With his wardrobe sorted, the only thing left for Harry to figure out was how they were going to satisfy the challenge when their evening would be otherwise occupied and not free for sexcapades.

 

“H!” Louis called from the hallway, just home from work. Happy giggles could be heard down the hall where Make-Over University was already well in session. “Are you in there?”

 

“Almost ready!” Harry called back, Ziggy eyeing him from the countertop with a disbelieving look. “I _am_ almost ready!” Harry protested to her, earning a hiss in response. Harry stuck his tongue out in reply just as the door to the bedroom opened, Louis entering.

 

Harry turned to the bathroom doorway, hair still messy, to see Louis - still in his work quiff and suit - standing in its frame with his hands behind his back. As if he was holding something.

 

“Well aren’t you a vision, love,” he said, smile gleaming. “Pulled those boots out of the vault, did you?” he asked, eyes slowly scanning their way up Harry’s body. “And I can see your nipples,” he added.

 

“Dressed to impress,” Harry said with a faint blush having Louis’ eyes on him.

 

“Consider me impressed.”

 

“You gonna wear your suit?” Harry asked.

 

Louis shook his head, stepping into the room. “No. Gonna wear that navy jumper. The one you like so much. I’ve gotta keep up with my husband.”

 

“Leave the quiff,” Harry said, reaching out to brush at Louis’ temple with a finger, righting a stray piece of hair.

 

“Will do.” Louis looked over his shoulder to be sure they weren’t going to be overheard by little ears and then dropped his voice. “I stopped at the shops before coming home from work,” Louis started.

 

“Oh?” Harry breathed, eyeing where Louis’ hands were hidden. The smirk on Louis’ face indicated that he hadn’t stopped at Tesco’s. Harry swallowed heavily, already regretting the restrictive jeans.

 

Louis mercifully didn’t make him wait and revealed his hidden surprise with a flourish.

 

That took care of Harry’s concern about how they were going to complete the challenge for the day.

 

Butt plugs. Vibrating remote controlled butt plugs. And a pair of them, to make matters worse.

 

“Love, I don’t know if that’s going to be anatomically possible,” Harry said nervously, eyeing the size of the plugs. This wasn’t the first time they’d played around with toys. And the plugs Louis had bought certainly weren’t laughably large compared to other ones they’d used, but they weren’t slim fit either. They were silicone conical shaped plugs with a flared rim to hold. But again...there were two of them, one blue and one green. The remotes were inconspicuous with only two buttons - three lightning bolts or one lightning bolt - which Harry assumed controlled the strength of vibration.

 

The packaging advertised them as “The Ass Blaster 2.0”. Apparently version 1.0 didn’t deliver enough orgasms and warranted a follow up. The red dot stickers smacked to the front of the boxes indicated that they had been on clearance. So Ass Blaster 3.0 was probably already in the works. Harry’s arse involuntarily clenched up thinking about the imminent blasting.

 

Louis rolled his eyes. “Oi, you knob. They’re not _both_ going up your bum. Just one of them. This one,” he said, holding up the green one. “Obviously I’ll be wearing the other one.”

 

Harry’s mouth popped open, eyes wide. “ _Oh_. Well, that’s…”

 

 _Hot_ , his brain supplied.

 

Harry gulped, jeans all the more tight. “I’m all for that. But we had plans tonight,” he tried to remember them. Tried to remember that he had a friend named Niall who was expecting them at the club in thirty short minutes. But all he could focus on were the paired plugs still in Louis’ hands.

 

Fuck the club.

 

After years together, Louis could read Harry like one of his law books. “ _Ah. Ah. Ah_ ,” he said, stepping back with the plugs just as Harry reached out to grab his and tear it from its packaging. “Our plans for the evening stand. We can’t blow off Nialler. And we can’t blow off the challenge. So...we’ll just have to...multi-task.”

 

“You mean…”

 

Louis smiled salaciously. “Exactly.”

 

That was how Harry found himself sitting in Louis’ Lexus twenty five frantic minutes later with a plug up his bum, shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat with an equally shifty Louis behind the wheel.

 

“I can’t believe we kissed our kids goodbye wearing anal plugs,” Harry lamented, letting his temple rest against the cool window. His hairline was already damp with sweat, each movement of the car causing the plug to move just a bit inside of him, enough to tease but not torture.

 

Louis snorted, both wincing as they went over a pothole in the road. “These things aren’t exactly the most comfortable to wear, are they?”

 

Harry rolled his eyes. “If you hadn’t gotten home so late from work, we’d have had more time to _prep_ ,” Harry reminded him.

 

“If my damn boss wasn’t driving me so hard on the Mullins case dangling the partnership in front of me, I wouldn’t have had to pull late hours. And prep wouldn’t have been warp speed. But the important thing is that we’re doing it. And that we’re in this together.”

 

“Suffering together,” Harry supplied.

 

Louis arched an eyebrow under his perfectly styled quiff. “Suffering? Hm. Can’t have that, can we?”

And then suddenly Harry wasn’t suffering anymore as gentle vibrations started in the pit of his stomach. His entire body shuddered and he couldn’t restrain the gasp he let out at the sudden sensation.

 

Louis chuckled with one hand casually slung over the wheel, the other holding the remote to Harry’s plug. Harry fumbled in his pocket for the matching remote - the one to Louis’ plug - but Louis reached his hand out to stop Harry. “Not while I’m driving, love. Wait until we get there. Then the games can begin.”

 

Switching remotes was either going to be the best decision they’d made or the absolute worst. Knowing his husband, Harry figured it would probably be a bit of both. The vibrations increased in intensity for a few seconds, making him clench his teeth, and then cut out altogether. So yes. A bit of both.

 

Ten minutes later - and about as many teasing on-and-offs of the plug - they arrived at the club that Niall had chosen for his “Raise the Roof for my Raise” extravaganza. As Louis valeted, Harry eyed the flashing lights and long line already wrapping around the building. It had been a long time since they’d had a proper night like this, the club not really being their scene anymore after the kids came into the picture. When he got out of the car, he could already hear the music bumping from inside, which sent his blood pumping a little faster to keep up pace. He was... _excited_. Body shivering and skin tingling. Or maybe that was just from the plug, now steadily buzzing inside of him.

 

But they weren’t driving anymore. Which meant that Harry was free to retaliate. Immediately, he fished the remote from his tight pocket and pressed it up to full blast. From behind him, Louis let out a yelp and a string of curses, much to the valet attendant’s confusion as Louis had been trying to give him his keys and press a tip into his palm.

 

“Sorry!” Louis ground out to the poor frightened attendant, gaze then snapping to Harry. The spark in his eyes rivaled the lights of the club as he smirked. “Just _buzzin’_ about the night, is all.”

 

Louis stalked closer and Harry had to clench his jaw tightly against the onslaught of increased vibrations. “Challenge on,” Harry whispered when Louis took his hand, walking side by side to the club’s entrance.

 

By some happy miracle - or really just Niall’s widespread and useful list of contacts - they found that they had been added to the VIP list for the evening, able to bypass the line to get their evening started that much sooner. The burly bouncer checking IDs smiled widely when they said they were with the Horan party.

 

“Friends of Irish? Step right ahead,” he said. A slightly crooked smile rose to his face, making his intimidating presence melt for a brief moment. “That one’s good craic, I’ll tell ya that. Have a good night, lads.”

 

Louis and Harry were let by the velvet rope, sharing an amused look before they both simultaneously said, “Niall.”

 

Once in the club, the music was deafening and the lights were nearly blinding. Bodies were everywhere, mingling and moving like one single mass, driven by the beat of the song. Despite the chaos, it wasn’t hard to spot Niall amidst the crowd. He was in the DJ's booth. Wearing a light up crown and a pair of money sign glasses in glittering green.

 

They imagined they could hear him over the music screaming out, “Wey hey!” as he raised his arms in celebration at their arrival, crowd cheering back at him, followed by a truly epic drop of the beat.

 

“Have we just stepped into an alternate reality?” Louis said, well _yelled_ really, against Harry’s ear.

 

Harry shook his head fondly. Reality did not exist for Niall Horan. Only dreams.

 

By the time Niall made his way over to them, crowd surfing for part of the distance, Harry had remembered that he and Louis were still very much in the middle of their secret game. He flicked the remote and grinned as Louis’ grip tightened on his hand just as Niall approached, sans his party paraphernalia.

 

Niall pulled them both into an uncoordinated bear hug. “Welcome to the craic show!” he slurred.

 

“Niall, it’s not even ten and you’re already this far gone?” Louis asked, chuckling.

 

Niall smirked. “Tommo, it’s not even ten and I’m not blacked out yet. That’s the real travesty. Mind getting me another shot of Fireball? Help me in my pursuit.”

 

Louis just rolled his eyes, but complied. No one could deny Niall anything. Niall grinned ear to ear as he watched Louis part ways, then he turned to Harry. “Ah! Now it’s just you and me, Curly.”

 

“And several hundred of your closest friends,” Harry added, gesturing to the crowd.

 

Niall cackled. “Too true. But the closest of those friends are up in VIP. Where you belong. Li and Z are already up there with Ed. I’ll be up with ya in a bit, just got to make sure the DJ has my request list. Now get!” he said, smacking Harry on the bum...right over the fucking plug.

 

Harry hissed and curled over a bit, but Niall thankfully didn’t notice. He was already making his way back through the crowd again, quickly being lifted to their shoulders. The minute Niall got back up to the DJ booth, Rihanna’s _Bitch Better Have My Money_ , started playing and Niall’s dollar sign sunglasses were back on his face.

 

Harry ascended the steps to VIP and found the rest of their friends there, looking out over the crowd in a much more subdued setting. He greeted Liam, Zayn and Ed and then made himself a drink with the private collection on the center table. When he got back to the railing, he caught sight of a quiff and cheekbones in the flashing lights, eyes directed up at the balcony where Harry was perched. Harry downed his drink in one fell swoop, already knowing he’d need another.

 

“Where’s Louis?” Liam asked.

 

 _Playing cat and mouse_ , Harry thought silently as he watched Louis smirk and then dart off into the crowd, leaving a pulsing buzz of Harry’s plug in his wake. Harry sent one back and smiled, not able to see Louis’ reaction, but feeling his response deep within.

 

The night went on from there, each of them dancing around the other in their playful back and forth. When Louis didn’t come up to the VIP section, Harry decided to seek him out instead. He dragged an exuberant Ed, a stoic Zayn and a reluctant Liam out to the main dancefloor to search for his husband. They got slightly distracted in the process by Niall’s request list of songs playing, everything from Donna Summer’s _She Works Hard for the Money_ to The Notorious B.I.G.’s _Mo Money Mo Problems_ mixed over kick-ass beats, dancing along and laughing like they used to do back in uni.

 

And every few minutes, Harry would feel a pair of hands on his hips, squeezing just for a moment before the phantom pressure was gone, replaced by another buzz of the plug to say, “ _Louis was here._ ”

 

So Harry just danced. He swayed his hips, letting the music take him away, letting the pleasure from the plug bring him closer and closer to the edge. He was dripping sweat, legs shaking, breath panting, but he didn’t stop dancing. Out of the corner of his eye, he swore he caught blue eyes on him. Hungry. Wanting. Watching. So Harry put on a show, playing with his own remote as his body moved to the beat.

 

When he thought he would go mad from need, he was granted reprieve. A body pressed to his back, equally sweaty, but just a bit smaller. Harry knew that frame, knew the feel of Louis’ hips against his arse. Louis gave him a firm thrust, right against the plug and Harry moaned, filthy and wanton. It was lost to the sounds around them, as were they. When Harry opened his eyes, their friends had disappeared, leaving them alone in the crowd, two eager bodies looking for release.

 

“Lou,” Harry hummed, resting his head back against Louis’ shoulder. Louis mouthed at the side of his neck, hot and wet. Harry shuddered, gripping Louis’ hands where they were wrapped firmly around his waist.

 

This was it. He was going to come. In the middle of a club. Surrounded by strangers. With Louis stuck to his back and a vibrating plug up his arse. And he didn’t give even the slightest fuck.

 

Harry clenched his teeth, feeling the tell-tale curl of heat blooming in his core.

 

Then it was gone.

 

“ _Noooo_ ,” Harry groaned, shoving his hips back against Louis’, looking for something, _anything_ , to push him over that edge.

 

But when he opened his eyes, it was blond hair and crooked dollar sign glasses in his line of sight. Niall and two bouncers, each with one of Niall’s skinny arms wrapped around their shoulders. They were looking at him with equal fondness and exasperation.

 

“Does this one belong to you?” one of the bouncers asked. Niall smiled widely, muttering nonsense as his head lolled on his shoulders.

 

“No,” Harry said at the same time Louis said, “Yes.”

 

Harry sighed, frame drooping as Louis detached himself and came around to deal with Niall.

 

“Mate. It’s been an hour since I last saw you. I knew your skill in inebriation was noteworthy, but I didn’t know it was also so expeditious. That last shot I gave you was one too many, it seems,” Louis said, patting Niall’s ruddy cheek.

 

Niall smiled up at him, bleary eyed and happy. “Mighta been. Or the eight I ‘ad after it.”

 

“Jesus,” Louis huffed.

 

“‘M fine,” Niall insisted, pushing away from the bouncers, nearly taking a header into Louis in the process. He righted himself with the help of three pairs of hands and then stood in front of Louis and Harry as he swayed back and forth like a weeble. “Gimme yer keys,” he said, holding out a hand to Louis expectantly.

 

“Are you crazy?” Louis said. “You are _not_ getting behind the wheel of my Lexus when you can’t even stand. And I wouldn’t even let you drive it if you were sober based on what happened to your last car which is still submerged at the bottom of a lake.”

 

“Faulty parking brake,” Niall said with a hiccup. “But ‘m just gon’ go sleep in it. No joyrides. No lakes. Swear. Pleeeease?”

 

Louis considered for a moment. “I’ll walk you there,” he said with a sigh. But Niall threw up a hand to stop him.

 

“No! You and Haz. Dance. Have your night off!”

 

“Niall, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go wandering around -”

 

He was cut off by Niall literally putting a hand over his mouth to stop the words. Niall got close to Louis, too close for normal social interaction, and gazed up at him with big, blue eyes.

 

“Don’t let the marriage magic fade!” he whispered, eyes serious and bloodshot.

 

Louis tilted his head, mouth still covered.

 

“ _Don’t let it fade!_ ” Niall screeched. “My Dads can’t get divorced!” He shoved his hand into Louis’ pocket and stole his keys, then he was tumbling off away from them, evading the bouncers still trying to chase after him.

 

They watched him go with confusion. “We’re now getting marriage counseling from our drunken single friend, who apparently considers himself our child. If he only knew what his _Dads_ have been up to this past month,” Louis said, laughing. Harry dropped his head helplessly to Louis shoulder, laughing along with him. Harry turned Louis around and drew him in close until they were slated together chest to toe.

 

Harry nipped at Louis’ ear lobe before he said, “Well I suggest we take his advice, _Daddy_. Work on that marriage magic.”

 

“ _Daddy_ , hm? Now there's a tried and true we'll have to talk about bringing back later,” Louis said.

 

“Oh, definitely. Just getting in a bit of pre-emptive practice. Now let’s get back to the current challenge.”

 

They danced for about half a song, back to just the two of them before being interrupted by their overgrown Irish offspring, when a sudden wave of pleasure coursed over Harry from the plug.

 

He tore his hand away from where it had been tangled in the damp hair at Louis’ nape and reached into his back pocket, removing the remote for Louis’ plug. He was about to flick the switch on but another kind of buzz went off against his hip.

 

Louis groaned, pushing away from Harry enough that he could fish his phone from his front pocket. He looked down at the screen and huffed. Harry huffed too, buzz still going from his plug, getting more and more intense as Louis ignored him.

 

“Shit. Niall’s missing. Liam just texted me saying he’s outside looking for him. I should probably go help considering he's got my keys.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Harry whined, shivering all over.

 

“Love, go back up to VIP with Zayn and Ed. I’ll be back in as soon as I find Niall and deposit him in the car. And while you’re there, make a tentative booking with the car detailer for tomorrow, because the likelihood of Niall blowing chunks in the back seat is pretty high.”

 

He pecked a kiss to Harry’s jaw, hurrying off. Harry stood in the middle of the dancefloor with the plug still going like crazy inside of him. It just kept getting stronger and Harry was starting to get extremely frustrated, because now he was on the edge of orgasm but entirely by himself. And Louis wasn’t letting up with the damn remote even though they had clearly taken a break from the challenge to find Niall.

 

Harry tentatively made his way up to VIP, wincing with each step. By the time he got there again, he was flushed and gasping for breath. He threw himself into the plush circular sectional around the table where Zayn and Ed were mixing drinks, trying to make the most potent and disgusting concoction they could.

 

Harry put his head down on the table as the pulses started to turn on and off in a quick cycle. He slammed his fist down on the table, moaning in agony as the plug hit his prostate head on. Relentless.

 

Zayn and Ed jumped as all the glasses rattled on the table.

 

“Harry, you okay?” Ed asked, reaching out a hand to rest on his damp back.

 

Harry curled away from it, any more sensation sure to make him lose his shit.

 

“Not. Feeling. Good,” he managed to get out.

 

“Here have some water,” Zayn offered kindly, sliding a glass across the table to him. Harry took it to be polite and rested it against his temple, cheek still pressed to the tacky surface of the table.

 

The plug kept going on and off as if someone were repeatedly pressing it and then it suddenly went on full blast, highest setting. And Harry lost it.

 

He came with a startled shout, pounding his fist on the table again. The water spilled everywhere and Zayn and Ed watched him with shock, Harry writhing like he was being electrocuted. He expected the vibrations to stop, but then they just...didn’t. And Harry was in a world of desperation.

 

“Please, please, please,” he moaned, body still slumped over as the plug kept at it. He could feel his sticky release seeping into his jeans and grimaced. Harry was horrified to feel that the overstimulation was actually starting to make him...hard again. He wasn’t done yet.

 

“Oh God!” he wheezed.

 

With shaking hands, he dug into his pocket and retrieved his phone. He was barely able to get his hands to work, but managed to send off a quick text to Louis saying, “ **_STOP_ **.”

 

But it didn’t stop. The vibrations still weren’t stopping. So Harry decided that if Louis wasn’t going to answer his phone, he would just have to get his attention another way.

 

He hit the highest intensity setting on Louis’ remote and took only small relief in knowing that he wasn’t going to be the only one feeling out of his mind.

 

\--------

 

When Louis finally got out to the curb in front of the club, he could already spot a frantic Liam spinning around in the center of the car park looking for Niall. He hurried over and grabbed Liam’s arm to stop him from making himself dizzy.

 

“Oh thank god, Tommo! Do you know where he went? I saw him running away from the bouncers, but by the time I got out here he was gone.”

 

“Damn crazy Irish wanker. He stole my keys and was going to sleep it off in my backseat. I’m hoping he found the car,” Louis replied. He could feel his phone buzzing again, but he was sure it was just Harry asking for an update on Niall’s whereabouts, so he ignored it since he had no new information.

 

“Well, where did you park?” Liam asked.

 

Louis opened his mouth to answer, but then realized a few things in quick succession:

 

He had no idea where he parked because he valeted his car.

 

Since he valeted his car, he didn’t have his keys.

 

Since he didn’t have his keys, Niall hadn’t actually stolen them.

 

Since Niall hadn’t stolen the keys, he had stolen something else.

 

The something else was more than likely the remote to Harry’s plug.

 

“Oh fuck,” Louis said, voice tight with panic. Then he repeated his sentiments, doubled over at the waist with a hand pressing out against a random car to keep him upright when his own plug exploded in sharp vibrations.

 

“Are you okay?” Liam asked tentatively.

 

Louis’ eyes crossed and he gasped. “Find the fucking valet attendant and ask where the valet lot is,” he groaned, hand clutching his stomach.

 

Liam went darting off like he was running a sprint as Louis hobbled after him. The plug started turning on and off repeatedly as if someone were jamming the button down in an angry fit.

 

“Jesus fuck, Harry!” Louis hissed. He hastily unlocked his phone and saw Harry’s text from a few minutes ago.

 

**_STOP_ **

 

Louis snorted and fumbled out his reply.

 

**_NO YOU STOP_ **

 

The vibrations hit their max intensity and Louis moaned.

 

Another text from Harry.

 

**_OOPS_ **

 

The vibrations didn’t stop and Louis had a very bad feeling about why that was.

 

Louis tried to see where Liam had gone but he couldn’t focus on anything, only the unending tidal wave of pleasure sweeping over him.

 

This was it. He was going to come. In the middle of a car park. With one of his friends missing. Surrounded by empty cars with a vibrating plug up his arse. And he didn’t give even the slightest fuck.

 

Louis fell against the nearest car and came with a muffled shout, biting his fist as his legs shook to hold him upright.

 

 

When he finally had enough mental coherency, he texted Harry.

 

**_I hope you’re happy. I just jizzed me pants in the car park._ **

 

Harry was quick to reply. Louis could feel his irritation through the words.

 

**_I just came at the table sitting with Zayn and Ed._ **

 

**_TWICE._ **

 

Louis couldn’t help but laugh, wincing as it only made the plug press harder against his prostate.

 

**_Come out here and help me find our naughty son. I have a feeling he’s got something that belongs to us. Unless you want to go for lucky number three._ **

 

A minute later Harry was stalking out of the club, made less intimidating by the fact that he was limping a bit and wincing with every step. A big wet spot could be seen over the front of his crotch.

 

“I’m going to tan his leprechaun hide when I find him,” Harry growled.

 

“Please don’t talk about spanking at a time like this,” Louis hissed.

 

Harry glared stormily and grabbed Louis’ hand, marching off to where Liam was waving them over from the private valet car lot.

 

\--------

 

By the time they found Niall, curled up asleep on the hood of Louis’ car with the shorted-out butt plug remote clutched in his hand, they decided that this night had seen enough adventure...and orgasms. Harry sheepishly handed over his own broken remote before Louis retrieved his actual keys from the still confused valet attendant, barely containing his cursing this time as the butt plug continued to vibrate. While he did that, Liam managed to scrape Niall off the hood and get him into the back seat of his car, vowing to get him home safely.

 

Louis unlocked the door to his Lexus while he walked across the lot, watching as Harry wasted no time climbing in. A second later, Harry honked the horn impatiently for Louis to get behind the wheel so they could get the fuck away from this place and deal with the butt plugs. Louis rolled his eyes as he hurried his steps around the car and eased himself down into the seat.

 

“Find the first deserted street you can and park this fucking car,” Harry gritted out, adjusting uncomfortably at the situation going on in his pants.

 

Louis peeked down at Harry’s lap and his eyes widened. “Is that all…”

 

“No! Oh my god. Do you think I’m a fucking faucet? I had to ‘accidentally’ spill a drink on my pants to hide the situation. Not sure how well that worked out because it only looked like I wee’d myself.”

 

Louis started laughing, unable to contain it even though it made his stomach clench and his arse ache. His eyes were watering as he tried to get words out among the giggles. “I’m sorry…but that’s…”

 

“Not a kink we are going to be exploring, Louis. Drive the fucking car. I need to get this plug out. Now.”

 

But then Harry was laughing too. And the pair of them were cracking up in the front seat with their vibrating butt plugs still going steady.

 

Five minutes later after a few moments of very awkward maneuvering parked down a dark alley, the offending plugs were thrown to the back seat of the Lexus. Harry muttered, “Definitely shouldn’t have gone with the tight jeans,” after the struggle, while Louis looked over his shoulder at the green and blue plugs as they vibrated across the leather seat.

 

He made a face. “Guess I’m getting the car detailed tomorrow after all,” he lamented.

 

Harry leaned back against his seat and sighed in relief. “Ugh. My arse was on fire. We are never doing that again.”

 

Louis snorted. “Hey. You had not one, but _two_ orgasms, pal. You’re not one to complain.”

 

Harry slowly turned his head. “You are the one that brought those damn things into our lives. No wonder they were on sale. Ass Blaster 2.0. You were too cheap to get the most current model and this is what happens. When we get home I’m writing a _very_ strongly worded letter to the Ass Blaster company about their defective products.”

 

Louis shrugged. “You have to admit that the remote control range is quite impressive though, as is the battery life.”

 

Harry leveled him with a look, not amused.

 

“Let’s just get home, and then you can write your letter, Mr. Author. The kids will probably still be up watching some traumatizing horror movie, compliments of Lots. So we’ll probably have company in the bed tonight,” Louis told him.

 

“Fine by me,” Harry said, “Not like we’re going to be having any more orgasms tonight. God, just the thought of something else going up my bum…” Harry whined.

 

“Well, we can’t take the day off tomorrow,” Louis informed him. “But since I chose today, tomorrow is your call.”

 

Harry looked over at him with a smirk. “Oh I’ve got some ideas. But they will _not_ include defective butt plugs. Vibrating or otherwise.”

 

“Whatever you want, love.”

 

Louis leaned over the center console and pecked Harry’s cheek. Harry, as he always did, melted against him. All was forgiven.

 

As predicted, when they got home Isabelle and George were both still up, causing Louis to have to play bad cop for the night to wrangle them into bed while Harry let Zuko out. Once the little ones were tucked in with their nightlights glowing and their soft toys held tight, Louis having done the routine checks under the beds for monsters, he slipped down the hallway to their bedroom.

 

Harry was already inside, fresh from the shower and down to his pants, sprawled across the bed with his eyes closed.

 

“Niall got home alright. Liam just texted,” Harry hummed, not opening his eyes.

 

Louis padded softly across the room, stopping at the foot of the bed to look his long, lean husband up and down.

 

“You know, I think that maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on those plugs. Quite an entertaining night, when you think about it. I wouldn’t be opposed to giving it another go,” Louis hummed.

 

Harry opened a single eye, brow arched over it. “Maybe. But in the privacy of our own home, next time. And definitely when Niall Horan isn’t around. Or better yet, out of the country. Or six feet under, after I deal with him tomorrow.”

 

Louis laughed. “I’ll help you dig, love.”

 

“You’re damn right you will. Crime partners.”

 

“Plug partners, more like,” Louis amended.

 

“Shut up. Get in the shower and then get in this bed.”

 

“Yes, Sir.”

 

“Don’t give me ideas,” Harry teased, a smirk working to his face, dimples popping.

 

When Louis got back, both Isabella and George were laying next to Harry, covers up to their necks as Harry spoke soothing words about princesses and knights in armor to get them to sleep. Louis crawled into bed on the other side and listened in to Harry’s fanciful tales as the kids were swept softly into sleep.

 

Over their slumbering babies, Louis held out a fist. Harry pounded it back.

 

“Challenge met,” Louis said with a satisfied nod.

 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Love you, idiot.”

 

“Back at you, two-for-one-special,” Louis answered with a wink.

 

The next morning, they woke up to more buzzing. The plugs were still going, buried under a pile of dirty clothes. And Niall had texted them.

 

**_You’re welcome. Hope you filthy bastards had a fun night. ;-)_ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my incredible beta and the rest of the crew for looking this over for me last minute when I decided to pinch hit. So happy and honored to be a part of this challenge. 
> 
> Also, massive thanks to the crazy talented ptp-explicit for the art for the chapter! It's so BEAUTIFUL! I swear she pulled the image right out of my brain. Go give her some love on Tumblr!
> 
> What pleasures will come next? ;-)


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